KATO: Brother Lee, I have glorious news! I was in deep meditation by the coy pond this morning when an overwhelming sense of peace and understanding came over me. And, well, I believe I may have come close to… to complete Nirvana.

LEE: Pshh! Oh yeah, I achieved Nirvana, like, two months ago. Glad you caught up, though. Welcome to the club.

KATO: But… but I thought it took years of patience and deep personal insight to truly achieve Nirvana.

LEE: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Maybe for some Buddhists it does. Not for me, though. I was into Nirvana before all the other Brothers were doing it.

KATO: But Brother Lee, you seem so… so human. Are you certain you reached a true state of Nirvana?

LEE: Yeah, yeah—an overwhelming sense of oneness with the universe, an unfiltered understanding of my true self, blah blah blah. I’m going to level with you, Brother Kato: Nirvana is so lower caste. You're lucky you told me before you told anyone else about this. I’m pretty sure the rest of our Brothers would have just laughed at you.

KATO: This is shocking, Brother Lee. I had always believed our faith was supposed to spread a universal sense of understanding and compassion throughout the temple.

LEE: That’s so cute. Someday you’ll be truly enlightened, Bro Kato. Until then, why don’t you sick to chanting, mmmkay?