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Kev Kage

Town Mourns Loss of Two Teenage Girls, But Mostly the Hot One

by Kev Kage on

Friends, we are gathered here tonight to celebrate
the lives of two dear members of our community, Roxy Champlain and Ingrid Herrtzgeiger. Words cannot express how deeply saddened we are by the loss of these two young women.

It’s true what they say- that an incident like this makes us all stop for a second and wonder about life. We all have questions, questions without answers. Why did God have to take such a young, beautiful, and popular girl away from us so soon?

And Ingrid, isn’t it sad about her too? She was amazing at math and science. She was truly gifted at the French horn, or the sax, same thing. A truly beautiful and amazing person, perfect really. Sorry, I started talking about Roxy again.

It’s tragic to see these lives cut so drastically short, but all of you being here is a testament to their legacy. Roxy’s cheerleading team, her co-leaders of the student government, her neighbors, boys that used to like her, they’re all here. So are some other people.

So tonight, let’s bow our heads in a moment of silence for Roxy. And let’s take this time to reflect on the impact she had on each and every one of our lives. And let’s take a second to think about Ingrid too. We love you, Rox- Rest in peace.

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Kev Kage

Kev Kage

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I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
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Search and Siezure

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.