If there’s one thing that Steve Irwin’s death a few weeks ago taught us (besides the dangers of swimming with stingrays), it’s that you can instantly tell the importance of a celebrity by whether you would text your friends if you found out that person died. So here’s my personal list, which I’ve divided into three categories.
| Textworthy | Not Textworthy | Maybe If I’m Drunk |
 Will Ferrell |  Robin Williams |  Dax Shepard |
 Paul McCartney |  Jewel |  J.C. Chasez |
 Jon Stewart |  Kurt Loder |  Carson Daly |
 Bill Gates |  Donald Trump |  Orville Redenbacher |
 Britney Spears |  Kelly Osbourne |  Shania Twain |
Dr. Dre |  Avril Lavigne |  The dude from Creed |
 Osama Bin Laden |  Tony Blair |  Janet Reno |
 Tiger Woods |  Andre Agassi |  Mankind the wrestler |
 Subway Jared |  “Can you hear me now?” guy |  Dell Kid |
 Bob Saget |  Suzanne Somers |  The guy who Played Carl Winslow |
 Adam Sandler |  Rob Schneider |  Shooter McGavin |
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