Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

Hey, everybody. Sorry for the delay in this week’s update, but I met some dude who knew a lot of gossip last Friday and we’ve literally been boning nonstop since then. Literally. Nonstop. Boning. Oh yeah, and I went on vacation, but who’s really keeping track here, right?

The biggest story this week is that Hollywood, collectively, IS GROSS. I don’t even know where to start, it’s ridiculous.

First up is Avril Lavigne, who decided to get totally shitfaced on Friday night and spit in the face of a photographer. You might not think that’s too gross until I remind you that she’s Canadian. Sick.
Source: Hollywood Tuna

Quote of the Week, about Dustin Diamond’s supposed sex tape:
“”‘Saved By The Smell,’ the working title of the video, is reportedly graphic and includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “‘Dirty Sanchez.’”
Source: IDontLikeYouInThatWay

In case you were still in the gray about whether or not you find Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas attractive, here is proof once and for all that you do NOT. Trust me on this one. I’m pretty sure she’s the missing link.
Source: Hollywood Tuna

The freak show known as “Anna Nicole’s life” has struck yet again this week, with the news that Anna Nicole suddenly went and got married. To her LAWYER. Making her officially the most fucked-up person in Hollywood.
Source: WWTDD

Lindsay Lohan’s latest boyfriend, Harry Morton, broke up with her last week after discovering she was “‘too much drama.’ Because apparently before dating Lindsay, this guy lived in a cardboard box in the middle of Ethiopia.
Source: Egotastic

Also in the news, late night Jamaican psychic Miss Cleo came out this week, publicly announcing that she is a lesbian. She’s a big fan of rubbing crystal balls, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Heyoooo.
Source: The Advocate

Last but certainly not least, here’s a hilarious photo for you to ponder for the rest of the week. Enjoy!