Most of you have been in school for about a month. You've gone out to a decent amount of parties, met a good number of people and have had a pretty awesome time. You've been doing so much shit everyday that you've forgot to do some basics. Here are the things you still haven't done, but plan on doing when you get the chance

You still haven't"

Unpacked all your stuff

Bought notebooks, pens, a backpack or textbooks

Called your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, siblings, or anyone remotely related to you

Showered with a bar of soap

Cut your fingernails or toenails

Dropped that Chemistry class

Dropped that Biology class

Added that "Pornography in the 20th Century" class

Had a solid shit

Wiped your ass

Gone to Wal-Mart to get Preparation H

E-mailed your professor about missing the first month of classes

Sent your girlfriend from home pictures of your dorm room.

Gone to the gym to get super buff like you planned

Switched from a double premed/math major to communications

Banged a girl

Eaten" " " " ..pussy!

Cleaned your bathroom, dorm room, or yourself

Changed your sheets

Done a load of laundry

Realized how much shit your mom actually did for you back home" but still don't call her to tell her

Prematurely ejaculated onto a really fat girl named Tina with the kankles and tits the size of your friend Ryan's head and who's the roommate of that hot girl who sits next to you in Intro to Psych class" now I know you still haven't done that.