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Matt Loker

Is Your Dog Emo?

by Matt Loker on

Take this quiz to find out.

  • Says he’s a Black Lab, but he’s really just a Golden Retriever who figured out how to chew the top off a bottle of dye. EMO
  • Has a Myspace, but he only goes on it to keep up with other dogs he nailed in the alley behind the Rite-Aid. NOT EMO
  • That includes Tom. EMO
  • Whines when you put him outside. NOT EMO
  • Also whines when you let him back inside. EMO
  • Listens to music with anthemic choruses and heart-on-sleeve lyrics, but only in the 90’s post-grunge mold of Jawbreaker and Sunny Day Real Estate. NOT EMO, GODDAMMIT
  • Sometimes, chews his own ass just to feel. EMO

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    Matt Loker

    Matt Loker

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