Conversation between Louis-Philippe, the last king of France, and his son Ferdinand-Philippe

Louis: Son, come here.

Ferdinand: Listen, Papa, if this is about me throwing gold coins at the other boys at school, don’t worry, I already have plans to have them executed once I’m king.

Louis: Actually, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.

Ferdinand: Don’t make me switch to silver coins, Papa! They don’t hurt as much!

Louis: No, I mean about the King thing. It appears as though I’m going to be the last King of France.

Ferdinand: Wha?

Louis: Yeah, people are kinda tired of the whole “King thing.”

Ferdinand: I mean, it can grow tiresome having the same lavish meals in the same palace every day, but don’t you think it’s better than nothing?!

Louis: Oh. No. It’s not us who has grown tired. For us it’s great.

Ferdinand: Yeah.

Louis: I mean it’s mostly the peasants. The commoners, you know?

Ferdinand: Like the ones we kick on the way to our palace?

Louis: Yeah, them. But there are others, too.

Ferdinand: Like who else?

Louis: I mean, hundreds of thousands of people.

Ferdinand: Just name them, I’m sure I kicked them.

Louis: It’s not about that.

Ferdinand: Well, shit. Can’t we do something about this!? Can’t we just have them killed?!

Louis: It doesn’t work like that.

Ferdinand: Sure it does! Royal Guard! Have that man killed!

Louis: Come on.

(gunshot)

Louis: STOP!

Ferdinand: (almost crying) Well, what? Am I supposed to start studying now!?

Louis: Well, we got you tutors.

Ferdinand: No, I killed them. They were all annoying and stuff.

Louis: Okay, that’s fine. I’m sure we can find somebody to pass your tests for you.

Ferdinand: (reality is sinking in) No, I mean, I killed all my look alikes too. This seriously sucks.

Louis: Let’s just make a rule now that says no more killing.

Ferdinand: This is the worst day since one of my guillotines broke. What have I done to deserve this!?

This is all translated from French, of course.