Kevin P. [Retired]

Wedding Time Blues


Kevin and his girlfriend are at the reception of mutual friends after their wedding.


GF: Aww, I love weddings. Laura looks so beautiful in her dress and John is just so handsome. It must be so exciting.


Kevin: I bet it is.


GF: I can’t wait!


Kevin: Wait for what? Takes bite of the chicken alfredo


GF: Until we get married silly!


Kevin: chokes on food What!


GF: Baby are you ok.


Kevin: Yeah, I’m fine, just went down the wrong pipe. I’m going to go get something to drink. rushes to bar


GF: But you have water right here! turns to friend I think he might pop the question soon!!


Friend of GF: Aww!! Really? That’s so great!


The two share a giggle. Meanwhile, Kevin spots his buddy at the bar


Buddy: What is up KEV-VON!! Bro, haven’t seen you in forever!


Kevin: Nothing man, just getting a drink. turns to bartenderCrown & Cokeon the rocks.


Buddy: Pretty crazy seeing John get hitched bro. He found the one, that’s for sure.


Kevin: A little young if you ask me. If she’s really the one, she’ll be the one in 5 years, you know, when they get out of school and have some income rolling in. That’s when you get married, when you can afford it. finishes drinks, orders another Just leave me the bottle.


Buddy: You still dating that one girl.


Kevin and buddy see GF fight for the bouquet…Kevin winces


Kevin: Yeah, she’s getting antsy for one of these too.


Buddy: Tough break…All hells yeah, the chocolate fountain is running. SO ACE! runs to chocolate goodness


Kevin returns to table


GF: Hey babe. Feeling any better?


Kevin: Yep.finishes drinkI’m fine.


GF: Great. Let’s dance. drags Kevin to dance floor, next to the bride and groom I love you Kevy.Kevin sighs and smiles back Laura, your dress is gorgeous. I’m so jealous!


Kevin: There’s nothing to be jealous about. turns to groom Congrats man and…good luck.


John: Thanks man. It seems like yesterday we were playing around with fireworks and doing other stupid stuff young kids do. Now we’re getting old and have house payments to worry about.


Kevin: Jesus John, we were doing that stuff not even a week ago.


GF: I caught the bouquet. You know what that means.


John: Yeah man, you’re next. Hah.


Kevin: Have you all gone completely crazy! I’m still in college! While you two will be worrying about your finances, I’ll be in my finance lecture! And no, we’re not getting married anytime soon. music convenently cuts out, everyone at reception notices the yelling.We may be next, but it’ll will only be because no one else got married in the next 5 to 10 years! Which, at this rate, won’t happen!


Gasps come from around reception. Grandmother of the bride faints


GF: I thought you loved me! runs to bathroom, crying. all her girlfriends follow to console her


Kevin: Uh…Again, congrats to you two. Wrap it up tonight.


Gets whiskey and walks out. Buddy greets him at the door.


Buddy: Pound it! That was Ace bro. You speak for us all!

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Whiny inmate

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