I love working at Google, because of the family atmosphere they work hard to create.Here are just a few of the zany, family-style characters I encounter every day.
My Shift Manager, “Aunt Edna.”She’s not really my aunt.
My Boss, “Big Brother.”I never had a brother of my own, but I imagine that he would have been something like the giant camera constantly watching me.
The Mail Guy, “Uncle Jimmy.”Like my real uncle, Jimmy is a homosexual.
My Supervisor, “Great-Uncle Tatum.”Great-Uncle Tatum’s snake always needs resuscitating!But I’m happy to help out—after all, he’s family!
My Intern, “Nephew William.”
My Computer, “Cousin Pete.”Cousin Pete was always getting messages from the air, at least before we put him in that institution.
My Cubicle Buddy, “Mom.”Keeps telling me I was an “accident.”
The Tech Support Woman, “Grandma.”I’ve never seen the tech support woman, but she sounds nice on the phone.
My father, who works in our office as a janitor.
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Oh, when I do it I get thrown out of the museum, but when it's a machine, it's "art"?
"Advice Number 1: Don't get involved with anyone like Don Draper."
I've always been into environmental awareness! Also, sexiness.
"Hair? Oh, this is gonna take a while."
Meanwhile in Japan, comedy websites are passing around cat videos and wondering why America is so weird.
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She's been attending the Michael Jackson School of Cosmetics.
Your mom likes this list.
Levels: one. Time wasted: infinite.
