Why I'm better than Jon Mitzel

After years of dedicated CH love and the last three or four weeks of semi-dedicated commenting on some of the funnier pictures and articles here, I’ve come to the realization that anybody that comments on Jon Mitzel’s horrendous attempts at comedy is, in fact, much funnier than he. In this update, I’d like to try to prove to you this is the case.

• Example #1: In his article “My Thoughts And Actions Before, During, And After I Take A Crap,” Jon tries and fails horribly at anthropomorphizing his asshole in response to the better written and better-know article by Matt, “A Conversation Between A Tongue and A Penis.“ Beyond this pseudo-original complete lack of comedy, he also sees the need to interject about power ranger underpants. This not only shows his mental age to be on the same wavelength as a grade-school dropout from ’94, but also that he has poor taste. Kudos Jon, you suck at life.

• Example #2: In another feeble attempt at wit, “To goith by land or to goith by air?” Jon shows us that he is not just an everyday internet jerkoff, but indeed a class ‘A’ moran. Grammatical errors, while endearing and comedic to a young child, as a collegiate student posting on the internet, you do not incite endearment but rather hatred and blood-lust in all that read your blatant idiocy.

• Example #3: Katie Marino has not once posted a comment on any of your articles, none of the CH staff has for that matter.