Welcome to our news in brief piece — a great way to stay up to date on current events. Oh, and to make things more readable, I've added the phrase "with his dick" to the end of every news story.

In Domestic News:
A Vegas casino magnate accidentally pokes a hole through his pricey Picasso — with his dick

In international news:
Prime Minister Tony Blair defended Britain's presence in Iraq against sharp criticism Wednesday, saying it would be a "gross dereliction of our duty" to withdraw before Iraqi troops are able to take responsibility for security with his dick

Sports:
Lou Piniella, who guided the Cincinnati Reds to a World Series title in 1990 and played for two championship teams with the New York Yankees, has been signed to a three-year-deal and is entrusted with trying to end the Cubs' frustration with his dick.

Weather:
High today is 66
The low is: with his dick.