The Shocker: Revealed

The shocker has engraved itself in our culture, and by no coincidence has played the supporting role in many pictures on this site. Of course we are all familiar with “Two in the pink, one in the stink” but what does that really mean, and why has the shocker come to mean so much more over the years?

Originally, the shocker was a perverted cousin of the Vulcan sign for live long and prosper. One drunken night, Spock and Comander Uhura were getting it on in the holodeck, and Spock sensed that Uhura was getting bored. He contemplated “two in the pink, two in the stink” for a moment, but quickly decided against it. He dropped his ringfinger, and did the only logical thing. When Uhura told Kirk about what had happened she said, “I was totally shocked.” All Kirk could say was, “Yes you were. Yes you were.”

From then on, the shocker has become a somewhat trivialized form of sexual gratification. Only the bravest of man has ever attempted it, and only the kinkiest of woman has enjoyed it. The idea of forcing three fingers into two holes has, and always will, create mathematical quandaries worthy of Will Hunting himself. (Side note: Driver hated it when Damon tried the shocker on her in a trailer off-set, and that’s actually why there wasn’t a sequel.)

Now the shocker is used as a signal to display ones membership in an elite social group of college students, recent college grads, and professor’s with half a clue. The shocker has almost come to resemble something like a gang symbol. It’s something we can flash at one another with the unsuspecting bystanders completely in the dark about its meaning, and graphic sexual implications.

The shocker is a beautiful gesture, with a wonderful history. But it is so much more than that for those of us in the fraternity of shockees (not to be confused with Giant’s Tight End Jeremy Shockey” Hmmm” .Tight end” Definitely not gonna get two in that stink.) So I say shock often, and shock proudly. Shock just for shock’s sake. Don’t wait for an appropriate situation, make it appropriate. Say something like, “that’s shocking” and throw a shocker right in the air, high and mighty, like George W. at Yale.