Signs That You Might Need a New Roommate

Everyone has a picture of that perfect roommate. You know that one that is willing to throw a party whenever, pick up chicks at a drop of hat, and distract the hot girl’s fat friends so that you can move in and make the kill. Well Brad and I were not graced with a great roommate last year, and we came up with a couple of signs that you might need a new roommate.

-Starts hanging Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp posters in your living room.
-Can’t decide if he wants to be Emo or a Prep this week.
-Talks about high school football. And as more time goes by during the semester, the better he gets.
-Somehow finding the only fat chicks that live on your street. This is a clear sign he’s a chubby chaser. Next thing you know you’ve got fat girls passed out on your couch and all your foods gone.
-Barb wire bicep tattoo. The only guys that are allowed to have a barb wire bicep tattoo are” NO ONE.
-His Myspace top 8 includes Scott Stapp from Creed. Is my former roommate cool enough to hang out with Scott Stapp? Yes, because they are both douchebags.
-If popping collars isn’t gay enough, he only pops one side claiming
that “he doesn’t want to be too preppy.” No arguments, popping your collar is gay and that’s final.
-On a Friday night instead of going to a bar with you, he would rather finalize his fantasy football roster. He picks players on talent, not on the style of mustache they have.
-Plays World of Warcraft.
-Refers to Grey Goose and McCormick’s Vodka as the same thing.
-Admits to crying in The Notebook.
-Introduces me as his roomie instead of roommate.
-Says he lost his virginity in the Boy Scouts.
-Well I don’t know if the last one is true, but it sounds like something he would say.