Movies That Will Get You Some Serious Ass

You’re half way there; you bought her a vodka Redbull at the bar, humped her on the dance floor for a song or two and convinced her to come back to your “crib.” That’s the easy part my friend. Most likely your dorm/apartment/house sucks. Drunken roommate on the futon, blood stains on the floor, the whole nine yards. If you are planning on getting your dick wet tonight you have no choice other than taking her straight to your room and popping in a classic DVD. Technology makes girls horny. So here’s what to look for.

Fight Club: (1999)
Brad Pitt is in it, and he takes his shirt off. Make a little joke and say “oh, my friends say I look like that with my shirt off.” It might sound gay, it might be gay, but she’s drunk and it might make her curious. Too bad she’s going to be disappointed.

A League of Their Own:(1992)
If Gina Davis and Rosie O’Donnell dressed like baseball players doesn’t turn you on then wow, just wow.

The Big Green:(1995)

When you mix Steve Guttenburg and the fat kid from the Sandlot, hilarity is sure to ensue. This movie is a guaranteed hand job.

Arachnophobia:(1990)
Who isn’t terrified of spiders? You can’t go wrong with scary movies, especially if John Goodman is in them. Get ready for a little dry hump action if you’ve got this bad boy in your collection.

The Butterfly Effect:(2004)

This movie is the Casablanca of “let’s put a movie on and have sex while it plays really loud in the background.”

Weekend at Bernie’s:(1989)
You are now entering Blow Job city, population 1. That’s you! This movie is great movie to watch while your penis is in a girls’ mouth, or not! It’s hilarious!

Ghost Dad:(1990) Starring Bill Cosby, the sexiest Negro of the late 80’s. This movie will touch you’re heart; hopefully your guest will be touching your nut sack.

Brokeback Mountain:(2005)
Can you say, Anal?