How to Write a Paper

4:00 P.M.: Get back from weekend at home, start paper

Christian Honce
Philosophy 234
Dr. ————
10/30/06

4:05 P.M.: Facebook Break
4:30 P.M.: Reward your hard work with an early dinner (which you’ll only attend briefly)
6:00 P.M.: Start good solid two hours of work

Socrates was the originator of modern philosop

6:05 P.M.: Check email to make sure professor didn’t cancel assignment
6:10 P.M.: Look at porn
6:30 P.M.: Google Search: How to build a hovercraft
6:35 P.M.: Google Search: Hovercraft for sale
6:40 P.M.: Google Search: Hovercraft porn
6:45 P.M.: Back to paper!

Socrates was the originator of modern philosophical thought.

6:50 P.M.: Google Search: Olsen Twins Playboy
6:55 P.M.: Google Search: Average Penis Size
7:00 P.M.: Google Search: Average Penis Size Not Including Black Men
7:05 P.M.: Google Search: Josh Groben lyrics
7:10 P.M.: Google Search: Taco Bell
7:15 P.M.: Explore Taco Bell website
7:30 P.M.: Necessary trip to Taco Bell with possible side-trip to Walmart to buy plywood, duct-tape, plastic sheeting, and a leaf blower.
8:00 P.M.: Simpsons
8:30 P.M.: That one show after The Simpsons
9:00 P.M.: Family Guy
9:30 P.M.: Family Guy but louder and not funny
9:55 P.M.: Roommate goes to see girlfriend
9:57 P.M.: Lock the door
10:00 P.M.: Grey’s Anatomy
11:00 P.M.: Back to paper

He was important in that he cre

11:05 P.M.: Facebook
12:00 A.M.: MySpace
12:35 A.M.: CollegeHumor
1:30 A.M.: Porn
2:00 A.M.: Write paper

Unbaptized babies float in Purgatory because their mothers were whores

2:05 A.M.: Sleep