Once again we take a look at the biggest news stories of the week, and how they affect your life.
“¢Kevin Federline’s album, “Playing With Fire,” dropped on Tuesday.
What that means for you:
Hey white guy who raps…yes, you sound like that. Retire the mic, my man.
“¢In a speech he made on Wednesday, Senator John Kerry’s failed attempt at a joke about Bush’s stupidity in the end insinuated a lack of intelligence in the military, angering many servicemen around the country.
What that means for you:
The proof is in the pudding, folks…leave the jokes to the professionals, or you’ll be murdered by the army.
“¢A police chief in Winter Haven, Florida lost his job for referring the officers in his precinct as “Jelly-bellies.”
What that means for you:
Well, if you’re fat, I guess you can go be a police officer in Winter Haven, Florida.
“¢PW Botha, maligned president of South Africa during Apartheid, has passed away.
What that means for you:
PW Botha’s passing is a time to reflect. Civil rights are not something to be taken for granted, and we must always…………YEAH RIGHT! LATA LOSER!
“¢Viacom head Sumner Redstone said his wife is turned off by Tom Cruise.
What that means for you:
You’ve got no shot in hell with Sumner Redstone’s wife.
“¢An Ethiopian immigrant was convicted of mutilation on Wednesday for conducting a circumcision on his 2-year-old daughter.
What that means for you:
The “I’m a foreigner, I don’t know what I’m doing” defense clearly doesn’t work anymore. You might have to just smoke joints inside from now on.



The 8 Stages of Staying Up All Night
The 15 Best Christmas Movies of All Time
Amazing Dad Magic
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
Yoga pants so tight, they've become a part of her.
Wow, I guess having 5 blades does make a difference.
"Things Stoners Haven't Turned into Bongs" -- The Shortest Book in the World
Journalists finally revealing some hard-to-face truths
Kate Upton blocks shot of a beautiful sunset
Roommate Contract: (1) I will make your life a living hell.
Ways to meet women if you're tired of being normal.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.