I went and saw The Prestige by myself on Saturday night, and boy was I NOT impressed. Who's ever heard of a dramatic film about MAGIC? Magic has no point if it doesn't make you laugh, right? Unless you're David Copperfield, who's 1992 special "Flying – Live The Dream" brings me to tears every time I watch it. I taped it when it first aired and just recently transferred it to DVD to protect it forever. Jealous? You should be.

But I digress. The illusions in this movie are all about one thing" machinery, science and body doubles. Too complicated! Who was the on-set consultant here, Lance Burton? Haha zing! A real magician only needs their hands, a black hat, and a rabbit. Oh, and apparently food and water to keep the rabbit alive. But you live and learn! I'm a magician people, not a zoo keeper.

Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale do an okay job, but I bet they wouldn't last five minutes with me and the boys. They call me "The Teacher" because I've taught them everything they know. Also, because they're all 12 years old. I'm known for my signature trick, where I make a card disappear into thin air. It really looks like the card disappears!! Gets them every time. Well, not every time, but most of the time. I'd say 65% of the time they're convinced.

One thing that the movie got down was the fact that ladies LOVE a good magician. Magic hands, right?!? I've gotten girls way hotter than Scarlett Johansson in the past. What's that? Then why did I go to the movies by myself? Oh, I just" I'm with women all the time, so I" .I was" .. (sigh) I'm so alone.