Doug
"Substance Abuse, Gun Control, & Racism"

Doug Funnie: …then Patti ran to the sink to spit it out!
Skeeter Valentine: Haha, no way man. Guess you gave Patti some Mayonnaise.
Doug: Gross man.
Skeeter: You "Skeet, skeet, skeet" all over?
Doug: That's like your new catchphrase dude.
Skeeter: Skeet, skeet, skeet!
Doug: Better than that gay honking shit. (pause. Doug lights up)
Doug: Man, I been meaning to ask you something for the longest time.
Skeeter: What's that?
Doug: What're you supposed to be?
Skeeter: (takes joint from Doug and inhales) Whatdyu mean?
Doug: Are you like… a black dude? I mean I don't have a problem, but like are you?
Skeeter: (pulls a gun out) You just crossed the line cracker!!!
(Doug pees his pants and starts crying" then Skeeter just starts laughing)
Doug: Dude, not cool.
Skeeter: Don't worry, the safety's on.
Doug: Why do you carry that shit on you?
Porkchop comes running into the room and Skeeter, startled, pulls the trigger
Skeeter/Doug: Ohhhhhhhhhh Shiiiiit!
Doug: You fuckin' ni^^er!