Time spent looking at CollegeHumor.com instead of working
Amount of times Streeter has called you by a weird variation of your name
Rate of Email Checking
Number of iPod Nanos "Won"Number of iPod Nanos receivedCarpal Tunnel Symptoms 4bi1i7y 2 r34d 7h15 Percentage of time spent looking at pornography F1RST!
Boss: Jesse! Me: Sorry boss, fell asleep. Boss: I got up to get coffee, that's an absurd amount of time to fall asleep in. Did you get my mail yet? Me: Yeah boss, got it in .2 seconds! Boss: …
Amount of time spent in the costumeAbility to easily fit through doorwaysEase of urinationSoldeing iron burnsChances that you'll get laidChances that you've been laid in the past
Probability of visible reason for traffic How much you like "Party in the USA" Speed of cars in the OTHER lanes Mad Libs played Heads blown off Donations made to NPR Amounts of times you get out to pe …