Jake Klocksien

How It Happened: Mind of Mencia

Hotshot TV executive #1: Well… I hoped I’d never have to say this but.. it looks like Dave Chappelle has bailed on us. Not even $50 mil could keep him around.

Hotshot TV executive #2: WHAT?! WHAT DO WE DO NOW??

Hotshot TV executive #1: Get a hold of yourself, Hotshot TV executive #2!! Keep it together!

Hotshot TV executive #2: No..no, WHERE IS MY NOOSE??

Hotshot TV executive #1: No! We’re going to get through this together!! We just need to find a replacement! We need a comedian who is offensive and racy; yet someone who will be able to push the boundaries without getting too many organizations protesting.

Hotshot TV executive #2: How about Carlos Mencia?

Hotshot TV executive #1: Hmm… he has the potential for a good replacement. After all, he does enjoy incorporating unoriginal stereotypes into each and every one of his bits, no matter how forced, unfunny, or plagiarized it happens to be. Plus his name is Carlos Mencia which means he can make fun of Hispanics since most people think that only white people have the ability to be racist.

Hotshot TV executive #2: But what if viewers realize that his real name is Ned Holness and he’s actually half-German? Would people still be okay with him throwing around the words “beaner” and “wetback” so much?

Hotshot TV executive #1: Oh do not fret, Hotshot TV executive #2, most viewers won’t even notice the difference between the shows anyway. They will simply laugh at the use of clichéd stereotypes instead of the satirical sketches that Dave Chappelle created which over exaggerated and helped shed light on the stupidity of racism and prejudice.

Hotshot TV executive #2: Sounds great! Get Mencia in the studio by next week. Oh, and make sure to show reruns of each episode eleven times a day!

Hotshot TV executive #1: Will do! I’ll also remember to tell him to continue making fun of retarded people during every punch line and maintain his hilarious “Dee-dee-dee” catch phrase!

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I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
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Fast & the cheap

My friend wanted to race this cop who gave him two speeding tickets and screwed up his insurance. So he finds the officer and he agrees to a street race down this empty road at night. So night comes and they were revving their engines. The light turns green and they speed off, all of the sudden my friend gets pulled over by another cop waiting behind a wall while the other... Read More » cop turns on his siren while flipping him off. Apparently he set his dumbass up. Now my friend has his license suspended.... XD