- Needed the money because tens of millions of dollars made as an NFL player just wasn’t enough.
- Had to have a heavier criminal record to keep his street rep up with Tank Johnson and Pacman Jones.
- Wrongly thought it was a great way to get a coveted Purina Dog Chow endorsement deal.
- Losing dogs = Cheap fur coats
- Knows that real men don’t use their fists to settle disputes, they fight highly abused and mentally unstable dogs.
- Needed to prove that his brother, Marcus, is not a terrible person, just a product of ridiculously bad parents.
- Same reason he started smoking: Peer Pressure.
- Found that the NFL is not nearly physical enough to satisfy his bloodthirst.
- Figured it was his only chance to win any sort of championship
- Wanted an excuse to hang, electrocute, and drown dogs.
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The Way We Do Things Sober vs Drunk
News Feed History of the World: February 2012
12 Different Types of Hangovers
Cool Pranks for Cats
Everything is Scary
News Feed History of the World: April 2012
You've had a lot of emotions about hockey, but "lust" is a first.
Oh, when I do it I get thrown out of the museum, but when it's a machine, it's "art"?
"Advice Number 1: Don't get involved with anyone like Don Draper."
I've always been into environmental awareness! Also, sexiness.
"Hair? Oh, this is gonna take a while."
Meanwhile in Japan, comedy websites are passing around cat videos and wondering why America is so weird.
At last, an explanation for the most mysterious nose in Hollywood.
She's been attending the Michael Jackson School of Cosmetics.
Your mom likes this list.
Levels: one. Time wasted: infinite.
