So, I guess you're wondering why I never actually took you to dinner like I said I would. Instead of calling you up to explain, I figured I'd take the low road and just post the reasons on College Humor instead.
A) I was very, very drunk when I said I would take you to dinner.
B) At the time I was trying to sleep with you.
C) Having completed B, I decided that you could probably use a little bit less eat time, and a tad more gym time. However, if we are ever together during scenario A again, I'd say, "How about we go upstairs and maybe we'll hit up Olive Garden next week?"