So it's been a long week of avoiding papers, trying to fit 40's into your mini-fridge, and in all likelihood, masturbating feverishly every time your roommate goes to class. Well it's high time you ejaculated into vagina rather than a Kleenex, and this week, that vagina belongs to: Commuter Chicks

Jump in front of her car: She'll slam on the breaks and honk her horn, but you- you sly devil- you just stand there smiling coyly. When she finally sticks her head out of her window you say, with the slightest hint of a chuckle, "Can I have a lift?" "Hop in." She replies, mesmerized by your charm.

Go to McDonald's: Order two Chicken McNugget Happy Meals- both for you. You forgot your wallet in your dorm room so she's going to have to lend you some money, don't tell her this until you've already ordered. If she tries to make you feel guilty about this just start freaking out and kick her dashboard. You'll ride in silence for a few minutes until you quietly turn to her with tears in your eyes and offer her one of the toys. You can ask for it back later.

Mess with her radio: I don't mean switch the stations, I'm saying really, fuck up her radio, press all the buttons simultaneously and when it gets fuzzy hit it as hard as you can. Of course, she'll request that you stop breaking her radio, that's when you demand furiously, "Is that all you care about?"

Get dropped off almost: When she tells you to get out is the time to bring that playful smile back, the one that made her pick you up in the first place. She'll look into your eyes and you can literally watch the anger turn into lust just before her lips are on yours and she's pulling off her clothes as she crawls into the back seat of her 95' Accord.

McDonald's: Sex makes you hungry.