Rivalry Week Rundown

It’s rivalry week here at CollegeHumor and we’re getting the spirit by finding the hottest girl at these schools: LSU, Ole Miss, Alabama, Aurburn, Ohio State and Michigan. If you think you’ve found the hottest girl at any of those schools, send us a link to her Facebook profile at RivalryWeek@Gmail.com. The absolute hottest will compete against her rival for the real victory.

But until then, let’s break down this weekend’s competition.

MICHIGAN v. OHIO STATE
Current BCS Average:
Michigan: .9735
Ohio State: .9765
The Edge: Ohio State. That .003 margin is thinner than Tressel’s sweater vest.

Head to Head Victories:
Michigan: 57
Ohio State: 39
The Edge: Michigan. Though most of those Wolverine victories came before the advent of the forward pass.

Most Lopsided Victory in Series:
Michigan: 86-0 over Ohio State in 1902
Ohio State: 50-14 over Michigan in 1968.
The Edge: Ohio State. Adjusting for inflation, that 1902 score is more like 13-0.

CollegeHumor Power Rankings:
Michigan: 10th
Ohio State: 49th
The Edge: Michigan. Three acapella groups at Ohio State? That’s not gonna help anybody.

Players You’d draft today in your NFL Fantasy Keeper League if it were legal:
Michigan: Hart and Manningham
Ohio State: Troy Smith, Antonio Pittman, Ted Ginn Jr.
The Edge: Ohio State. Now if you could only figure out who to drop. (Hint:
Mark Brunell)

Mascot:
Wolverine: A solitary, muscular, carnivorous North American Mammal.
Buckeye: The brown nut of a tree or shrub
The Edge: Michigan. Frankly we’re surprised Ohio State hasn’t changed its mascot yet.

TOTAL SCORE: Ohio State 3 – Michigan 3
Prediction: We don’t condone gambling, but if you are planning on making things interesting, we’d suggest betting the farm on: One Great Football Game!

---

LSU v. OLE MISS
Head to Head Record:
LSU: 53
Ole Miss: 37
The Edge: Ole Miss. They’re due.

Teams Total Height:
LSU: 528’3”
Ole Miss: 503’11”
The Edge: LSU. Try getting a field goal over that wall.

Greatest Names on Roster
LSU: Daniel Bobo, Mit Cole, Ace Foyil, Pep Livingston
Ole Miss: BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Kyle Higginbothan, Preston Powers
The Edge: LSU. Pep Livingston sounds like a superhero.

Legendary Alumni:
LSU: Y.A. Tittle
Ole Miss: Archie Manning
The Edge: LSU (At least Tittle didn’t birth two annoying sons.)

Is your Quarterback a freak of nature?
LSU: Yes.
Ole Miss: No.
The Edge: JaMarcus Russel and the LSU Tigers.

TOTAL SCORE: LSU 4 – OLE MISS 1
Prediction: Look for a blow out, here. The numbers don’t lie: LSU 40 – Ole Miss 10.

---

ALABAMA v. AUBURN
Head to Head Victories:
Alabama: 38
Auburn: 31
The Edge: Auburn. (They won the last four.)

Home Field Advantage:
Alabama: Bryant-Denny Stadium
Auburn: Jordan-Hare Stadium
The Edge: Alabama. Higher capacity, plus this year they are playing there.

Biggest Embarassment:
Alabama: Punt Bama Punt
Auburn: Taylor Hicks
The Edge: Alabama. Nobody wants to be known as the American Idol school.

Players whose name sound like robot alien war lords:
Alabama: Ezekiel Knight
Auburn: Octavius Balkcom
The Edge: Auburn. All Hail President Octavius!

Coin Flip Test:
Alabama: Heads
Auburn: Tails
The Edge: Auburn. Tails never fails.

TOTAL SCORE: Auburn 3 – Alabama 2
Prediction: Home field advantage keeps it close, but look for Tigers to squeak out a close one: Auburn 24- Alabama 22.