K-Fed's Next Career Move

He’s lost his sugar mama and his album tanked but he still has to get those limited edition kicks somehow. Who knows, maybe he’ll get a job…

Receptionist at Quest Diagnostic Center
“Yo, this message is for Mr. Fenfang Chow or whatever, this is Kevin at Quest Diagnostics returning your call, it’s about 9:30 on Tuesday in the morning and yo listen Chenchang, Ima be real wit you, cuz I remember you when you came in last Thursday, you was real nice or whatever. Well listen, boo, we got your AIDS test back and you got it bad, dawg, so call a nigga back, catch you later.”


Rite Aid Night Manager
“Look it, Ima be real wit you okay, and I need you to be real wit me so we can get this straightened up, aight? So like I told you you need to fix up the tampons in aisle 6 and then when you didn’t do what I axt you to do, then, you know, Ima be like listen, boo, I gotta do my thang, you know? I’m just doin’ my thang, you know what I’m saying, and I’m just axing you to do your thang, boo, so we can do this right, and make the tampons look fiiine, you feeling me, Edna?”



Tour Guide at Monticello in Charlottsville, Virginia
“Aight kids, follow me through here. Dis room right here is Thomas Jefferson’s library, yo. Dis is where he like read and wrote stuff like the Declaration of Independance or whatever, and you know, Ima be real wit you kids, TJ’s bookroom had like 6,000 books you know what I’m saying, and then he like sold it to Congress in 1815 or whatever after its building and collection were damaged by the British in 1814, forming the nucleus of the Library of Congress yo. Aiight so the next room is the gift shop where ya’ll can by my new single ‘Privilege’.”



Erotic Novelist
“So the real fine bitch wit big titties comes over to him and she was like hey boo Ima be real wit you right now, Ima take off my shirt so we can get it on, and then she, you know, took her shirt off and he could see her titties or whatever and he was like oh shoo girl I can see your titties or whatever and she was like yeah I know whatchu gonna do about it fool and he was like I dunno I guess Ima go over there and you know get down wit you and she was like yeah aight boo you do dat, so then they did it, you know what I’m saying?”