Virginity - My Anti-drug

A new and sweeping theme is becoming more and more consistent amongst small college campuses throughout the east coast: virginity. Gone are the glory days where highschool freshmen lined up to get a shot at the star QB and all-american lax captain. The cool new thing is to absolutely refuse a decent guy a piece of ass, no matter what.

There are many different techniques to remaining a virgin, and I hope to cover a few of them. First, if you are a virgin, and happen to be hot, you must dress as hot and promiscuously as possible – wouldn’t want anyone to know about your sexual fidelity, after all. Second, you should try to make out with one or two guys at every party, extra points awarded if you can pull it off in a public arena. Finally, if you do become inebriated and have to be walked home, invite the handsome samaritan into your room, give him a kiss on lips, have him help you into your pajamas, and then tell him how decent of a guy he is and how much you’ll enjoy being totally platonic friends.

As a virgin, the best piece of advice to give is this: the hotter you are, the more you should surround yourself with completely harmless, asexual, intellectual men. This is a good idea since these sensitive gentlemen will never attempt to make a move. Ever. And you can rest assured that they have never, and never will, go to bed every night dreaming of you naked with whipped cream all over you. They’re asexual afterall.

Ladies, your sexual flower is something that needs to be cherished and held onto as long as possible. Next week I’ll address giving bad blowjobs and why the poor asshole deserves it.