Vince Eckert

Rip Van Winkled


Rip Van Winkle fell asleep for 20 years in 1770, only to find things completely different when he awoke. His descendants had similar problems.


Christopher Van Winkle: 3 years, 1930-1933

CHRIS: I’m sorry I haven’t been at work in a while, sir. I seem to have nodded off.

BOSS: Don’t worry about a thing; I’ve married your wife and adopted your sons.

CHRIS: That’s ridiculous. I would never agree to that.

BOSS: You talk in your sleep.


Richard Van Winkle: 1 year, 1955-1956

RICHARD: Oh crap, I’m late for work again.

MRS: You’ve been asleep for a year, honey. You’re a year late for work.

RICHARD: Why didn’t you wake me up?! How can you keep letting me do this?

MRS. JONES: Oh, right, it’s my fault. Not your bizarre hereditary illness.


Ted Van Winkle: 5 months, 1969-1970

GIRLFRIEND: Welcome to 1970, Ted. I missed you.

TED: 1970?! I can’t tolerate that kind of change.

GIRLFRIEND: Nothing’s really different.

TED: Don’t you get it? The ‘60s are over. We don’t get a second chance.


Steve Van Winkle: 6 weeks, 1985

ROOMMATE: Hey Steve, how you feeling?

STEVE: I feel so refreshed. But a little groggy.

ROOMMATE: Wonderful! then the operation was a complete success.

STEVE: Operation?


Phil Van Winkle: A few minutes, Present Day

PHIL: This drive is the perfect thing to help me forget my chronic narcolepsy. I love you, honey.

GIRLFRIEND: Phil, watch the road!!!

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Handsome

If a twosome is sex with two people, and a threesome is sex with three people, then now I know why I keep getting called handsome