I hate to break it to y'all but Thanksgiving break is over. Yes, this is a bad thing. It's time to come out of your tryptophan trance – it's not winter break yet. Now all of the work that you didn't do because you were busy eating turkey, stuffing, cranberries and pie is still sitting menacingly in your backpack and as you pensively open this sack of impending scholastic oppression you'll be waist deep. Oh you didn't have any homework over break? Congratulations" finals are in 2 weeks" happy thanksgiving and merry fucking Christmas.

After spending the better part of the week fabricating stories for your high school friends and compatriots about how wonderful school and your life are it's time to return to the real world – not the one with the foolish, pulchritudinous tools you see on MTV – the one with bloodshot eyes from coffee and cramming, not partying all night.

If you like scan-tron multiple choice bubbles this is your favorite time of year" mmm mmm scantron multiple choice bubbles

" Freshmen" I have some good news and some bad news" good news : you're gonna lose your V-Card in the next 3 weeks – bad news : it's your finals V-Card. You thought midterms were fun" finals are a whole new experience. Kind of uncomfortable though" like the back of a Volkswagen.