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Streeter Seidell

Warning Signs

by Streeter Seidell on

OK, let’s see here, Mr. Billings, right? Great. Well, I took a look over your application and I have to say it looks fantastic. As you know, we have pretty strict hiring standards here at Brist County Bank and Trust and I’m happy to say your credentials more than qualify you to be a teller here. So, do you have any questions?

Air conditioning? Why yes, yes of course we have air conditioning. Central air, in fact. Where does it come from? I believe it is cooled outside in a big unit and then pumped through vents in the ceiling to the banks many rooms. Yes, I agree, it was a good investment. Anything else?

The vents themselves? I believe they are made of aluminum or some similar metal. I got a quick glimpse of the system when they were installing it a few years back and it looked like some sort of metal. How wide are the vents? I honestly couldn’t give you an exact width. Would it fit a man? I suppose so, if he had narrow shoulders, but I couldn’t see any reason it would have to.

No, you’re right, if there were a raccoon in there I suppose someone would have to go up and get him out. Well, if that happened I guess the animal control agent would go through one of the access grates. There’s a fairly large one in the office supply room. That’s where we keep our stepladder as well, so that would likely be the point of entry for the animal control agent.

Could the vents support the animal control agent’s weight? That’s a good question. I’d be confident in saying so. I remember seeing the workmen installing supports in the system where it runs over open space below, like in this room. See? Take a look up there. Can you see the support brackets they installed to keep it from dropping down to the floor? Any other questions?

How do we ensure valuable documents in the vault aren’t ruined by humid air? Actually, funny you should ask that; the central air system we were just talking about runs through the vault as well. We had similar concerns when we installed the system and made sure the workmen ran a vent into the vault for just that reason. You see it’s all connected above our heads. The main vent runs through this room and then right over there – right by the last teller station – it splits off and goes into the vault. Alarm? Oh no, not up there. Ha, well, I should hope no raccoons are trying to rob our vault! If they were we’d be in trouble! Any other questions? No?

Welcome to Brist Country bank and Trust, Mr. Billings!

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Streeter Seidell

Streeter Seidell

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It's a vase

I used to work night shift manufacturing in small town Nebraska. After work, I went home and bummed around a bit, when my roommate and I realized we were hungry for some greasy food. Everything is shut down except a 24 truck stop about 20 minutes away. We head out, and half way there we see lights flashing in the rear. He wasn't speeding so we had no idea why we were... Read More » getting pulled over (turns out it was a burnt out tail light). The cop comes up, sees two mid twenties guys wearing huddies, and when he asked us where we were going answered him that we were going to the truck stop because we had the munchies. 45 minutes go by and we hear a dog sniffing the car, barking at the trunk. I look at my friend and say "Your not sending me to jail man!", "No, I clean, really." Sweet is poring down our face when the officer says, "Both of you step out of the car NOW." We comply, and 5 officers search every inch of the two of us. Then they search his trunk, "SIR, ARE THESE YOUR WEAPONS?", My friend answers, "That's my key chain pocket knife, I forgot it was in there." The offices disregards it than spits back "WHATS THIS?!?" My friend squeaked out "That's a vase sir." Much to their disappointment, we were clean, and they let us go. I still chuckle when I go back to visit and see his vase.