Dear T9,

I know that for the most part we get along great. I frantically type random buttons and assume that you will pick up my slack and create words – the keyword here of course is ASSUME. Now, don't get me wrong, you really help out a lot with the whole almost as easy as QWERTY thing, and some really funny messages have been sent because of you; however, sometimes you drob the ball.

You see, I pressed 64652 and was hoping for you to write "ninja." But you didn't. Instead, you placed random letters there and asked me if I would like to add my word. When I put "sizefu" and those other made-up words in your brain, I understood the confusion. But NINJA!! That is a real word as far as I know because I wrote it down on my High School Guidance Counseling form for the Desired Occupation question. I don't think my GC would've let me be a made-up word! I am so disappointed…

We use to be close, T9. There was a day when I counted on you to get me through drunken messages without too much faltering, but now I'm not sure… If you would just kindly text me back and let me know that you're ready to accept 64652 for what it is, I may rethink our relationship status. Please don't make me do this.

I'll miss you…sort of…

Ben