How I Imagine An Interview With Johnny Cash Would Look, Assuming He Only Spoke Using Lyrics From His Songs

Q: Thank you for taking time to talk with me.
A: Hello. I’m Johnny Cash.

Q: Hello. First of all, what was it like growing up in your household?
A: My mother was always very protective. From “don’t forget to button up your coat” to “always be a good boy; never play with guns.”

Q: Did you ever take any vacations as a famiy?
A: We went to Reno once. I shot a man.

Q: Why?
A: Just to watch him die.

Q: Oh… So, Mr. Cash, can you tell me why you are always dressed in dark colors?
A: I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town.

Q: It must be fascinating to travel around the globe playing your music. What cities have you traveled to?
A: I’ve been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, LaPaloma, Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocapillo, Barranquilla,and Padilla

I’ve been to Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Fairaday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa, Tennessee, Tennessee, Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devil’s Lake, Crater Lake.

I’ve been to Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika, Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rock, Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport, Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport, Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina, Pasadena, Catalina.

I’ve been to Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado, Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, Eldorado, Larimore, Adimore, Haverstraw, Chatanika, Shasta, Nebraska, Alaska, Opalacka, Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City, Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City.

I’ve been everywhere, man.