Hoboken, NJ — A Sopranos viewing party ended in a bloodbath Sunday at the home of a local teamster, Cosimo Mancini. The fighting apparently began after disappointed friends began arguing about the controversial ending to the popular HBO show about a mob boss and his family.

Jimmi “Iron Leg” Ferralano apparently claimed that the ending was “bullshit”. Marty “The Mick” O’Leary disagreed, calling it “fucking brilliant.”

As other viewing party members took sides, guns were drawn and after a brief, Tarantino-esque standoff, Mr. O’Leary was shot in the head by Mr. Ferralao for saying “hey, this is kind of Tarantino-esque.” Then the argument escalated as to whether the blackout ending meant that Tony Soprano had been killed, and Mr. Ferralano was quickly silenced in this dispute.

In the end, 17 fellow fans were left dead in a flurry of bullets. The only initial survivor, Mr. Mancini of Greenhill St., had been cleaning his member’s only jacket in the bathroom, and returned to find the massacre while Journey blared from his Bose stereo system. Mr. Mancini subsequently blacked out, and his condition is unclear.

Written by Mr. Beale