A Day in the Life of: The Philosophy Major (with a Minor in Religious Studies)

6:23 Sleep through alarm set previous night, promise to rise with the sun tomorrow
6:25 Wait for swearing roommate to finally turn alarm off
8:06 Brew roasted Venezuelan coffee
8:15 Skip shower, opt to instead wear beanie
8:20 Head to class with only latest copy of New Yorker and Harper’s Weekly
8:30 Talk about Nietzsche

Dear Diary,
I really impressed the girl sitting next to me in Theo 101. She saw me doing the Monday Times crossword and was like, “wow, you’re really smart.” And I was like, “Yeah, I am.” But, I like I got a little too real for her when during class discussion I expounded my thoughts on how George Bush and his cronies probably planned that tsunami in Indonesia.

10:00 Appreciate Jim Morrison, but you know like only for his poetry
10:32 Find homeless man screaming about Jesus, have a sitdown
11:17 Remove Shirt
11:18 Do yoga on fountain in front of Union
11:40 Eat brunch with the Ultimate Frisbee crew
12:05 Decline invitation to smoke pot, cite as response, “I’m like going all natural, chemical free right now.”
12:06 Write poem

Ode to the Enlightened Soul

My soul is as twisted origami
I loath thee, God?
I am Poseidon’s razor-tipped trident
I will lance the devil’s tsunami machine

2:00 Go to university library
2:15 Update favorite Music and Books section on Facebook
3:00 Write Poem for girl in Theo 101

Ode to my Future Lover

Fair haired beauty, you have my heart.
I yearn to be on you,
Like so many buttons on your backpack.
I would die, if only to be with thee

4:35 Smell own fart; smile
6:00 Find public place, meditate
6:55 Announce return to dorm room to read Marx
7:00 Secretly watch Family Guy
8:00 Roommate returns, pretend like not masturbating
8:09 Listen to jazz, loudly
11:00 Set alarm clock, dream of gloriously swimming in sea of own fart

Repeat