Voicemails from the Freshman Virgin Who Just Doesn't Get It

Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. What’s up? It was nice meeting you at the Beta party. The beach theme was fun. So cool you guys had sand in the house. I bet it was a pain to clean up. So thanks for walking me back to my dorm room. Sorry I kicked you out when my roommate got back, but you know how it is…anyway we should hang out, get some dinner sometime. Give me a call.

1 week later…

Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. So funny I ran into you last night. I mean I guess it’s your fraternity so it makes sense that you were at that party. Sucks you’re having cell phone problems. Anyway, it was fun seeing your room, and your CD collection. Sorry I didn’t stay up there with you longer, but didn’t want to leave my friend alone downstairs for too long. We should hang out though. Maybe go get some ice cream or something. Give me a call.


2 weeks later…
Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. Glad I ran into you last night since I hadn’t heard from you. Sucks that you’re still having cell phone problems. Maybe your voicemail is full or something. Oh well, I thought I’d leave you a message anyway. Hope you get this one. The party last night was fun. I think I left my bra somewhere in the frat house. So embarrassing! And even more embarrassing that I bolted out right after you took it off. I was feeling sick. Beer before liquor, never sicker… so true! Anyway, it’s crazy that we’ve never actually gone out. We should get some coffee or see a movie sometime. Give me a call.


2 days later…
Hey Ben, it’s Mindy. Your cell phone is going straight to voicemail, like, every single time I call. You need a new phone or something. So not sure if you got all my messages, but let’s hang out. I know I mentioned going out to dinner or walking through the arboretum, or going to a museum, but my roommate’s left for the weekend so we could rent a movie and chill out here if you want. Call me.


5 minutes later…
Hey Mindy.
Hi Ben!!
Your roommate there now?
Oh…um no. She’s outta tow—
Okay I’ll be there soon. South Quad, right?
Yeah. Do you want to bring over a movie?
{click}


The next morning…
Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. I hope you had fun last night and I hope you don’t think my movie collection is dorky, but you didn’t bring one over…I can’t believe you’ve never seen Sabrina! It’s an Audrey Hepburn classic. So thanks for listening to me bitch about how stressful freshman year is, especially since you’ve “been there done that” being a senior and all. Anyway, I hope it was okay that I made us stop before we…well…you know, and told you I wanted to wait until we’ve been dating a little longer. Sad you had to jet off like that, but I hope your friend’s doing okay. I can’t believe no one else was around to drive him to the hospital, and so random he broke his collar bone… playing Frisbee…at 1am. So let’s hang out soon. I’m performing in a Gilbert and Sullivan Operetta next weekend. I can get you a comp ticket if you want to come. Can’t wait to hang out again! Call me.