Aesop's Fable & College Translation

Aesop’s Fable: Four Oxen & the Lion

A Lion used to prowl about a field in which Four Oxen used to dwell. Many a time he tried to attack them; but whenever he came near they turned their tails to one another, so that whichever way he approached them he was met by the horns of one of them. At last, however, they fell a-quarrelling among themselves, and each went off to pasture alone in a separate corner of the field. Then the Lion attacked them one by one and soon made an end of all four.
Moral: United we stand, divided we fall.

College Translation: Four Foxes & the Dude
A dude used to hang out down at various bars looking to score with four foxes all at once, as any dude knows scoring with two chicks is difficult but four is almost unheard of. Night after night he would approach skulk after skulk (technical term for a group of foxes) with no luck he would leave with only with bruised cheeks (from slaps to the face and from sitting too long on the bar stools). One night he chose to approach each fox one at a time when they were separated from the group. That night he managed to score with four foxes, while not all at the same time this is still an impressive accomplishment and perhaps the only time his premature ejaculation was an advantage (average time a minute thirty but four times still ain’t too shaby).
Moral: Try for an orgy get nothing, try one at a time get four scores or more!