I swear to God you guys, she said that. Seriously, you don’t understand how much I need this. Just do this one thing for me, you know I’d do it for you. Check this out.
100 likes I get the threesome
150 likes and it gets to be with another girl
200 likes and I post pictures of it
300 likes and she won’t tell people I hit her
400 likes and I can have Amir Blumenfeld videotape it
450 likes and Jeff Rubin will videotape Amir videotaping it, and we’ll post it on CollegeHumor
500 likes and she’ll respect me
550 likes and I get anal.
I’m not playing around here you guys. Come on, don’t be a dick about this. If this update gets just 50 likes she’ll stop calling me “limp-dick” in front of all her friends. 75 likes and she’ll shave her legs. Please you guys.
1000 likes and she will date me for 4 more years then marry me
1200 likes and she will bear me three sons and name each one after me
1300 likes and we’ll send them to private school
And if I get even 20 likes she said I can stick my thumb in her ass. I’m not messing with you. Why haven’t you liked this yet?
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
TV Valentine's Day Cards
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
Every Time a Bell Rings
Dating Dos and Don'ts
What People Will Say They're Thankful for This Thanksgiving, And What They Actually Mean
Yoga pants so tight, they've become a part of her.
Wow, I guess having 5 blades does make a difference.
"Things Stoners Haven't Turned into Bongs" -- The Shortest Book in the World
Journalists finally revealing some hard-to-face truths
Kate Upton blocks shot of a beautiful sunset
Roommate Contract: (1) I will make your life a living hell.
Ways to meet women if you're tired of being normal.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
