Febreze Scented Tide

Tired of wasting that five minutes it takes to spray Febreze on a shirt? Now, you can put your dirty laundry in a machine for thirty minutes, then put it in another machine, while trying to make small talk with the Spanish Lady watching soap operas in the corner of the Laundromat but she just smiles and says “yes, quarters” to the question: “How many more quarters do I need for this dryer?” and now all the Law and Orders you’ve Tivoed are going to get pushed out of your line-up because of the Basketball games your roommate set up to record, and now there’s no time to watch anything anyway, so why does it matter? But, hey. Your clothes now have the sweet smell of laziness, and no one will know how much time you spent being a dumbfuck.