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Ten Worst Things to Say to a Cop after Getting Pulled Over:



1) “Oh, I thought about being a cop. Then I decided to graduate from Middle School.”

2) “I’m making a citizens arrest. You’re under arrest for being a fat retard.”

3)“Yea, I was going fast so I could get to your house to f*ck your wife.”

4)“Dude, how’d you catch me? I mean, I am driving a cloud.”

5)“I was going fast enough for you to put down your donut and pull me over.”

6)“Whatever officer, just don’t look in the trunk.”

7)“No speaka de Ingles.”

8)“Sorry if I was all over the road, I’m still buzzing a bit.”

9)“I make more money than you.”

10) “I smell bacon!”
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His first high speed chase, and he wasn't even born yet!

One of my favorite stories my dad tells, is about the day mom was giving birth to my brother. Back then, my parents lived quite a ways from the city, so it was a long drive to the hospital that could handle childbirths. Mom's in labor, so dad's got her in the the car, and is speeding down the highway doing a good 40-50KPH over the limit at least, blowing through the tiny... Read More » communities and pit stops on the way. Soon enough, there's an RCMP officer behind him, lights, sirens, the whole works. Dad decides to not stop, and for a good 20 minutes this cop is on his tail. He finally reaches the hospital, pulls in, and jumps out of the car. The cop does too, screaming at him to stop, and demanding to know what the hell he was doing. As my dad is opening the passenger door for my mom, he looks to the cop and screams "My wife's having a baby! Gimme a hand here!", to which the cop stops in his tracks, throws his arms up and yells "Have a nice day sir!" and promptly gets into his car and leaves.

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