A Drunken Hookup: His and Her Thoughts

Her: I guess I’ll go upstairs with this guy. The keg is tapped anyway.
His: Oh yeah, I’m gonna get some!!
…
Her: Watch a movie? Is this guy kidding? I thought I was coming up here to get sloppily groped.
His: Yeah, gotta ease into it. This will get her revved up.
Her: Ghost Rider? This was a mistake.
…
His: Alright, buddy, time to make your move. It’s now or never.
Her: Oh, thank God. I thought I was actually gonna have to sit through this. At least he’s a good kisser. Things are looking up.

His: Alright let’s go for some under the shirt action…Yes…Under the bra? Touchdown!
Her: Gross, his hands are sweaty.
His: This is awesome….and she’s not even passed out.
Her: I wish I was more drunk.
…
Her: I like dry humping as much as the next person but lets get this show on the road. I have class in the morning.
His: She totally wants it.
…
His: If I busy myself with my belt, she’ll undo the bra herself.
Her: He’s obviously trying to avoid fumbling with the bra. How long can a person spend taking off his pants?
His: How long can I keep playing with this buckle?! …Phew, crisis averted.
Her: Idiot.

His: Oh yeah…
Her: On second thought, this movie’s not that bad.
His: I hope she doesn’t think I’m grunting too much.

His: I wonder if she’s drunk enough for….
Her: That is not happening! Get your finger out of there!
His: Didn’t think so.
Her: Maybe I shouldn’t have slapped him so hard.
…
His: I’m getting tired.
Her: This guy is like sweating Natty Light.
His: I wonder if she’s ready to finish.
Her: This is going nowhere fast.
His: Oh, she’s coming, alright.
Her: Damn, I’m good.

His: Ohhhhhh yeaaaahhh!!
Her: That is a face only a mother could love.
His: That was amazing. I am God’s gift to women.
Her: I’ve had better.

His: I’m still never gonna call you, sweetheart.
Her: This guy should die in a fire….I wonder what my ex is up to.