An Extremely Dramatic Poem About Something Unimportant

Vestigial organs, alas!
Your worthlessness saddens me.

O, male nipples!
You dispense no milk,
Provide no sweet respite for a
Weeping, thirsty babe.
No, you exist but to be transformed
         Via purple assault
                     into Nurples.

O, coccyx!
It has been many years since
Humans had tails,
Yet stubbornly you remain –
And lo,
        I have bruised you
               Again.

O, little toe!
The others went to market,
Stayed home, had roast beef,
And had none, respectively.
You are even trumped by the fourth toe –
Whose lone feat is that it
       Did not
             Have roast beef.

O, tonsils!
You were removed. Good riddance!
Like Canadians, you were good
       For hockey                                    
             And little else.

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