Life With LOLcat

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Me: Hey LOLcat, I’m home!
LOLcat: O HI I UPGRADED UR RAM
Me: LOLcat! What have I told you about messing with my computer? You know I have very important documents in there!
LOLcat: I KNOES CUZ I WATCHES U MASTURBATE TO DEM
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Me: LOLcat, did you tear up this roll of toilet paper?
LOLcat: I HAS AN ALIBI
Me: I’ll be damned if I’m going to take legal talk from a kitten that can’t speak grammatically.
LOLcat: I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
Me: No, you can’t—*sigh* stupid f*cking cat, now how am I supposed to clean up all this baby batter…
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LOLcat: INVISIBLE SANDWICH
Me: LOLcat, I think you has—I mean, I think you have an eating disorder.
LOLcat: KITTY HAS REACHED CRITICAL MASS
Me: God, you’re such a girl. But really, I’m going to take you to the vet or something.
LOLcat: DO NOT WANT!!11!
Me: You don’t want 11 of what?
LOLcat: I HAS A FLAVOR
Me: You’re not seducing me out of taking you to the vet. Not after last time…
LOLcat: SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!
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LOLcat: I MADE YOU A COOKIE… BUT I EATED IT
Me: LOLcat, how in God’s name did you make a cookie?
LOLcat: SNEAKY CAT
Me: Wh—
LOLcat: IS SNEAKY
Me: aggravated sigh Alright, let’s see what kind of mess you made in the kitchen…
LOLcat: IS IT CAN BE HUGZ TIEM NOW PLZ?
Me: Not now, LOLcat, I need to check—HOLY SH*T! Eggshells everywhere! Batter and chocolate chips on the walls!?
LOLcat: MESSY CAT
Me: HOW—
LOLcat: IS MESSY
Me: F*CK! I WILL END YOU!! breathing deeply to calm down …LOLcat, these eggs expired two weeks ago. And it doesn’t look like the oven was on.
LOLcat: DYING CAT
Me: …
LOLcat: …
Me: Wh—
LOLcat: IS DYING
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