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Ryan Kraemer

Student Organizations

by Ryan Kraemer on

School is right around the corner, which student organization will you be joining?

Student Government Association (SGA):
Selling Point: Motion to really change things around here, all in favor give me a hell yeah! Opposed? Abstentions? Motion fails.
What you do: Meet weekly to handle some of the tough decisions the administration leaves in the hands of the students. Such as where to put new bike racks! You’re the people’s voice; the voice they would rather not use. Very nasally.
Overheard: “My opponent is weak on vandalism and if he is to win this election believe me when I say there will be another stolen statue.”
Did you know?
The SGA is run much like the American government in that almost everybody in it hates each other.
Debate Society:
Selling Point: It’s like practice if you want to be a lawyer. Or a pompous asshole. Slacks vs. Khakis!
What you do: Play dress up and debate important world issues. Eventually you realize we will never solve any of the world’s problems and become soulless. You are now ready for law school!
Overheard: “Oh, very original. No, no I’ve heard it before. Yes, it sounds like masturbator, I get it.”
Did you know?
The most popular form of collegiate debate is Lincoln-Douglas Debate, more commonly referred to as Lincoln-some dude debate.
Science Club:
Selling Point: Making a tornado inside two 2 liter coke bottles never gets old.
What you do: Trade interesting science facts with friends and end every sentence with ‘cool, huh’.
Overheard: “Human tapeworms can grow up to 22.9m. Cool, huh.”
Did you know?
English stole Science’s high school girlfriend. Science retaliated by not following English’s stupid i before e except after c rule.
Theater Club:
Selling Point: You’ve been pretending that you’re someone you’re not your whole life; some people call it insecure, we call it talent.
What you do: Play make believe.
Overheard: “How am I supposed to be taken seriously with my eye-liner smeared like that?”
Did you know?
Theater is slowly loosing its reputation as being a sport for the gays.
Sports Team Support Club:
Selling Point: For those who don’t want to join a legitimate club.
What you do: Buy a $10 T-shirt and represent your team the only way you know how, by yelling at cameramen while waiving your foam finger.
Overheard: “Dude, I totally made it on ESPN. Look, right there, row five eighth over from the left. So sweet.”
Did you know?
The celebratory high five is the cause of 56,000 spilled beers, 24,500 elbowed foreheads and 200,000 sore palms annually.
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Ryan Kraemer

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Passwords

I work in IT for a fairly well known company, but I work for one of the smaller branches. It's just me and one other person and let me just say, he isn't the brightest bulb. We are suppose to change the passwords to the computers every three months, and I was going to be gone on the day that we were suppose to do it. I wrote down the list of passwords that he needed to... Read More » change it to in an Excel doc and told him that he needed change them before he left on Friday, but after everyone is gone for the weekend. Monday I get back and everyone is asking me why they cannot get onto their computer. It turns out the guy didn't like the passwords I had created and made up his own, and then forgot what they were.