Facebook Ruins Lives

::opening up Facebook::
Girl 1: Who’s this poke from?
Girl 2: Remember that guy from the Thanksgiving party that I made out with?
Girl 1: That was months ago. You still talk to him?
Girl 2: Not really, but he pokes me all the time.
Girl 1: Do you like him?
Girl 2: God, no. He’s extremely boring.
Girl 1: Then why are you still poking him?
Girl 2: Well, I wanna have the last poke.

….2 months later…
Girl 2: So I hung out with that kid from Facebook the other day.
Girl 1: Thanksgiving party guy?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: I thought he sucked.
Girl 2: He does, but I was bored.
Girl 1: So did he try anything?
Girl 2: Oh yeah, we had sex.
Girl 1: Nice. Are you going to hang out with him again?
Girl 2: No, I hate him. He has NO personality. No amount of sex is worth dealing with that.
Girl 1: That sucks…I can’t believe all that poking paid off.

…1 week later…
Girl 1: So have you talked to that guy again?
Girl 2: No, but he poked me the other day.
Girl 1: Was that the first time since you slept with him.
Girl 2: Yeah. I was kinda dreading that poke because I never really wanna talk to him again but at the same time I was relieved, cause now I know he still wants me.
Girl 1: I love how that’s the modern day equivalent to the call after sex.
Girl 2: Poking? Definitely!

…2 weeks later…
Girl 2: Ok, this guy really pissed me off.
Girl 1: What did he do?
Girl 2: He woke me up at 6 in morning yesterday!
Girl 1: What did he want?
Girl 2: I didn’t pick up but he left a message saying we should hang out or something. You don’t understand. I already don’t really like him and then he goes and wakes me up?! That is a cardinal sin punishable by a thousand years of no laying.
Girl 1: So I take it you won’t be calling him back.
Girl 2: Hell no.

…3 weeks after that…
::facebooking once again::
Girl 1: I cannot believe you’re still poking him.
Girl 2: Oh, I’m not. He called me like six more times, each message more pathetic than the last. I never called back and I blocked him on AIM.
Girl 1: Then why is his poke still there?
Girl 2: Because if I remove it, he can poke me again. But if I leave it there when he tries, it’ll just say “This user has not received your last poke.” And I’m hoping he thinks I died.
Girl 1: Good plan.