by Patrick Cassels on August 16, 2007

Appetizer

• Order blooming onion with French dip.

• Make hilarious comment to cute waitress about your anticipated bad breath.

• Smirk sheepishly as cute waitress giggles at the self-deprecating humor of her new customer.

Drinks

• Order 5 Bud Lights for yourself and friends.

• Follow up with fantastic, "Now that we've got me out of the way, what will the rest of you be drinking?!" line.

• Wait for universal laughter from friends; flirtatious, This guy likes to party glance from cute waitress.

Dinner

• Order Pizza Burger (Deluxe).

• Wait for cute waitress to finish taking orders; shout "Spank you very much!" in Ace Ventura voice.

• Graciously accept compliments on your uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation from friends; slip Sam Adams coaster with cute waitress's phone number into pocket. (ALLLL RIGHTY THEN!)

Dessert

• Order Reese's "Peanut Butter Cup Explosion Sunday" cake

• When it arrives, smear dessert across face while shouting "Me like cakey! Me like cakey!"

• Bask in uproarious, side-splitting laughter from friends while cute waitress discreetly rubs your erection through blue jeans.