Things That Ruled When I was Five That Still Rule Now

As we grow from kids into adults, we start to lose interest in a lot of the things we treasured as a child. But there are some things that are timeless – things that will always be awesome, no matter how old we get. The following is a list of some of my favorites.

Hotel Pools
No matter where I’m going, for whatever reason, my first question upon booking a hotel room is whether or not they have a pool. I don’t know what it is about swimming indoors that gets me so pumped, but a pool at my hotel provides me with just as much enjoyment as it did when I was eight. I may have lost the swimmies, the goggles, and I might not pee in the water (as much), but a hotel pool is always #1 in my book.

Farting on Someone
Some people might say this was never funny, but that’s probably because they were always the ones being farted on. For my money, I don’t think it gets any better than backing someone into a corner and ripping ass on them. I swear, I could live to be a hundred, and I will still laugh every time I see someone tying their shoe, only to have someone else come over and lay one right into their forehead.

Making Fun of Fat People
Fat people are ridiculous. They’re just so awesome to look at and watch struggle with things that come easily to everyone else. It was hilarious to watch the fat kid roll down a staircase in middle school, and it’s just as great to watch them try to squeeze into their seat in an airplane now. I always felt that making fun of fat people was a public service act too, because the torment should eventually be enough to make them want to lose weight. So everyone wins!

Bubblewrap
‘Nuff said. I DARE you to not pop it if it’s lying around somewhere.

Bowls of Candy with “Please Just Take One” Signs
The closest you can come to winning the lottery as a child, the “Just Take One” signs are still a pretty incredible find should you happen to come across one. Usually reserved for parents who were too lazy to actually hand out Halloween candy to the neighborhood kids, the Just Take One philosophy finds itself an adult life in the form of free sample trays, promotional DVDs, complimentary mints and more. The best thing about Just Take One is that at that point, it doesn’t even really matter what is being offered. It’s about the principle of taking thirty-five fat free yogurt samples because someone was stupid enough to leave them unattended.

What stands the test of time for you?