Frankenstein's Monster

MAYOR: Fellow villagers! This Monster before us has terrorized our town for too long. Let us destroy the beast before it attacks again!

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Wait! Lower your pitchforks! My creation is no MONSTER. Look beyond his green skin and you will see an innocent creature with the mind of a child!

MAYOR: Dr. Frankenstein’s words have moved me. Let us go and leave this gentle giant in peace.

BLACKSMITH: But he throttled my only son to death.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Did he? Or do you simply blame him because he is different from you and I?

BLACKSMITH: No, I saw it. It was the Monster. He twisted his back in like, three different directions and then threw him into a bonfire. It was pretty horrible.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: But don’t you see? It was only frightened of the fire. Frightened, I say!

BLACKSMITH: — It took him 4 hours to die.

MAYOR: That’s… upsetting. But Dr. Frankenstein has a point. We shall let the creature live, and be sure not to use fire around him.

BAR WENCH: He also crushed my husband’s head on a rock down at the river.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Oh, yeah. Water also sets him off.

BAR WENCH: — I think I saw him laughing as he picked him up.

MAYOR: Wow. Nevertheless, let us… forgive this creature, and be sure to keep him from anything associated with fire or water.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Or moving objects.

MAYOR: Or… moving objects.

BAKER: What about my father? The Monster impaled him on a fence post this morning.

COBBLER: He ran my daughter down with a wagon.

CHIMNEY SWEEP: He constructed an elaborate booby trap outside our front door that decapitated my wife. It looks like he put a lot of effort into it.

MAYOR: We… um… we mustn’t let these incidents, however deeply disturbing, fuel our rage. I for one will embrace him as a neighbor.

Puts hand on the Monster’s shoulder.

MONSTER: ARRRRRRGHHHH!!!

Rips the Mayor’s arm off and starts beating him with it.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: You didn’t just touch him, did you?