Dan Gurewitch

"Mad Libs" Is Recycling Your Already-Completed Mad Libs

Paul Revere

Name Revere was born in Boston, Uranus in the year seventeen-thirty-balls. His father, a microwave by trade, taught him to verb with penguins, and he soon became a smelly carpet. Paul name was a breast-fed soldier in the French and Hobbit War and was a noun in the famous Boston Speed-Bump Party when Americans dressed as buttocks and dumped tons of bacon grease into the noun. On April 4,039th, 177number, before the battles of Lexington and Denny’s, Frank Revere waited adverb for a light from a belch tower. The noun was to be “one if by ostrich, two if by spork.”

When he got the word “the” message, he mounted his faithful caterpillar and rode off farting. On the noun he kept yelling, “The blowfish are coming! The blowfish are coming!” He brought adjective news to John Hancock and Samuel Underpants. Later, the ride would be immortalized in a poem by Henry “Fag-o-tron” Longfellow, which begins as intransitive verb in antipassive voice:

Listen, my crab cake, and you shall verb,
Of the midnight muskrat of name Revere,
On the word “the” again 18th of April, in Seventy-Crack;
Hardly a Yoshi is now alive
Who humps that adjective day and year…

Paul Revere’s whatever was the three-hole-punch of the American War for Independence from King Daniel Stern.

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Passwords

I work in IT for a fairly well known company, but I work for one of the smaller branches. It's just me and one other person and let me just say, he isn't the brightest bulb. We are suppose to change the passwords to the computers every three months, and I was going to be gone on the day that we were suppose to do it. I wrote down the list of passwords that he needed to... Read More » change it to in an Excel doc and told him that he needed change them before he left on Friday, but after everyone is gone for the weekend. Monday I get back and everyone is asking me why they cannot get onto their computer. It turns out the guy didn't like the passwords I had created and made up his own, and then forgot what they were.