“No amount of water can replenish all that I am sweating right now.”
“Clothes were a mistake.”
“Maybe the skin cancer will take my life…right now. No? Damn.”
“You think there might really be a pool on the roof of the school?”
“Is that a water fountain? No, it’s just another mirage.”
“Now I know how Moses felt, that poor bastard.”
“Is that Fievel? No, just another mirage…Hi, mirage of Fievel.”
“I think my jeans are fusing to my body.”
“Life is not worth it.”
“Mmmh…it smells like BBQ…it’s probably me.”





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The Different Types of Stubble
10 Things You Were Going to Do This Winter, But Probably Didn't
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
25 Phrases You'll Hear When You Go Out, and What They Really Mean
Hunger Games PSAs
Bathroom Catastrophe
This guy better go to the ER...which stands for the Excellence Room! Boom.
Can I apply to Facebook College?
When you use GPS, your destination is always the grave.
The fact that the Nicolas Cage Project is not funded by the federal government is a TRAVESTY.
Bad news: Rihanna is wearing clothes in these pictures. Good news: they're mostly see-through.
It's a PERSONAL MASSAGER-slash-toothpaste, okay?
Next thing you know they'll be saying Titanic really happened!
This is how true gamers see the world every day.
What part of "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln" is supposed to make me NOT like him?
If that iPod breaks, he is screwed.