Welcome to the very first exciting edition of STUFF THAT BUGS ME!

Now, before a female reader accuses me of this, I do not hate women. I love women and think they're probably the greatest thing ever. I hold doors and pull out chairs. Many of my closest friends have been women, as well as all of my sex partners (I think). That said, Women's Studies as a major is total bullshit. Even when it's spelled with a politically correct "y."

It's not the concept of gender studies that offends me, just the one-sidedness of it all. And so I propose that the nation's leading universities implement a brand new Man Studies major, in order to broaden our educational horizons.

Man Studies, at it's root, would be about the essence of maleness. Classes would involve almost no talking, as conversation is an indulgence and professors would lecture using mainly gestures and grunts. Required coursework would include "The Art and Sociology of Grilling," "Critical Readings in Maddox," and "Your Shit Got Wrecked: Sociopolitical Dialectics of the Crossbow and the Face." Additionally, each student would be required to complete a senior thesis on an in-depth topic such as "Comparative Analysis of Badassery: Jedi, Ninjas, and Navy SEALs." As Man Studies would be a multidisciplinary major, Professors would be drawn from the most qualified members of diverse fields, including cagefighters, astronauts, and lion tamers. Of course, men wouldn't get far without women, and while Man Studies would emphasize maleness, it would not discriminate against the prettier, nicer-smelling sex. Women would be encouraged to attend classes and contribute their insights to discussions (through gestures and grunts, of course), so long as they provided a comfortable environment in which men could scratch their balls freely and regularly.

I'm going to send this to Harvard right now.