Want to convey a message to that other person in the bathroom, but without using words? Now you can, thanks to the rich and beautiful language of Public Bathroom Signals.
| Foot tapping | Trying to initiate sexual encounter |
| Attempting to climb over partition | Really trying to initiate sexual encounter |
| Reaching hand under partition | Initiating exchange of currency |
| Two taps on dividing wall | I have limited knowledge of Morse Code |
| Whistling | Insecure about penis size |
| Kicking door | Sometimes I think I’m a horse |
| Crawls under partition | Hi, I’m a midget |
| Feet disappear while flushing | Beware of sharks |
| Hums “You’re a Grand Old Flag” | Patriot! |
| Hums “You’re a Grand Old Flag” but in an ominous, minor key | Terrorist! |
| Fairly good imitation of the call of the cedar waxwing | Avid bird-watcher seeks same for coffee, long-term relationship |
| Grunting, straining | Ate at Taco Bell and/or giving birth |
| Shouts “Help! I’m locked in this stall!” | Terrorist trying to initiate sexual encounter |
| Mournfully hums “L’Chaim” | Refugee |
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